We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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