Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
