I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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