i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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