if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
