i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
