i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
