How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
