i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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