Porn is love you can see.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
