she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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