Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
