I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
