normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
