i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
