It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I believe in your delicious
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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