an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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