She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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