And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
