Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
