I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
