Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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