i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
