She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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