Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
