Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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