About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
