so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
