So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
