Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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