She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
