I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
