I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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