How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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