bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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