Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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