i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
