Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my poor anus
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
