i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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