Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
