Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
