Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
MIDGETS
????
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You ruined the universe
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
