dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
