A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
