perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
