I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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