doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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