A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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