Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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