We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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