Having a random hookup so left but love u
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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