I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
