"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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