Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
